Anuj Seth

We had just moved to Thailand. We picked up two folding bikes because we wanted to bring them with us to the next set of islands we were going to visit. I had a new job, and I was on top of the world. The whole idea of travelling for me was to escape the daily routines and enjoy the beauty of the world. Somewhere along the way in the race to get ahead, I learnt that "it's a dog-eat-dog world", "it's everyman for himself", and "don't waste your time with people who don't help you achieve your goals". Sounded like good advice so I stuck with it.

Just before the day of our trip I woke up with a severe back pain. The doctor recommended I take two weeks of bed rest. Then after the bed rest I couldn’t get up and walk, so I continued the bed rest for 2 more weeks. Now I started having severe gastric issues and couldn’t eat much. When I managed to get up and start walking, I realised that I am having severe feet pain as my legs had lost all their strength. So now, I couldn’t walk because of feet pain, couldn’t lie down because of gastritis and couldn’t sit long due to back pain. Bonus points - I couldn’t even watch TV as my eyes also hurt :)

I went to an orthopedic doctor for foot pain, and he told me that the bones in my feet had grown inward, which was causing the pain. I asked him - "What’s the prognosis" and he said, "You’ll never walk normally again."

I was in a foreign country where I didn't speak the language. I had no friends, only a few neighbours I'd met months prior. My days were a constant cycle of discomfort: I would sit for ten minutes until my back ached, then walk for a minute until my feet throbbed, only to sit again and repeat the process until I could finally sleep. This went on every day for nearly six months.

I felt alone, forgotten and lost, telling myself that maybe this is how I'll go, without doing anything meaningful and nor remembered by anyone.

In the midst of this, another doctor recommended I walk in the swimmming pool to help support my body weight, so I started going every day. The pool was usually pretty empty, but there was this aunty who was always sitting by the edge. One day, I started talking to Aunty near the pool. She reminded me a lot of my mom—had seen it all, done it all, carried the weight of her family for over 50 years. Now, she was just there to chill, with no intention of doing anything else.

At home, I complained all day and made my better half's life hell. I was jealous of the kids playing sports I used to enjoy when I was fit, and jealous of people heading to markets, malls, and parties, while I was stuck at home in so much painI

Aunty couldn’t walk because of a heart condition—she couldn’t even take 20 steps without gasping for air. Aunty and I became friends, we talked about stuff, I brought playing cards to play with her. I started meeting kids at the pool who asked me to play with them. I couldn’t bring myself to tell them that I was in so much pain that even standing in the pool was hard. So, I managed to throw a ball or two their way, and their cheers brightened both my mood and aunty’s.

In the meanwhile, the doctors advise of walking in the pool helped me get to 1000 steps a day. I was able to go outside the house counting steps in my head an come back. I thought, if I continued doing this eventually, I will get better. This continued for a while, after which I realised that I was not able to go beyond 1800 steps any day. Even if I tried, I had so much pain that I had difficulty sleeping. And I didn’t want that. Sleep was the only time when I had no pain, and I didn't want to ruin that part of the day also.

I also realised that when I am with Aunty somehow my pain feels less. Whenever the kids are in the pool I forget my pain, even for a moment, but it goes away for just that wee bit. I mustered the courage to go and sit in the Starbucks right outside my apartment. Many seniors also used to come here and spend their afternoon reading or meeting other friends.

I made some friends and realised that everyone was going through their own set of limitations. It was not only me who couldn’t walk or stand, there were these folks with much bigger problems. Yes, they were older but even some young folks were going through their own set of challenges.

I began spending time reading at that Starbucks, even through all the pain. I would sit for five minutes, but when my back pain got worse, I’d stand up and walk 20 steps. Then, when my leg started hurting, I’d sit down again and go back to reading. I did this circus for 60-90 mins every day at Starbucks and everyone there now knew my routine.

Being with and around people started working like a drug for me. I realised that I didn’t need therapy, I needed friends. The more time I spent with Aunty and other folks at Starbucks the more I forgot my pain. I was helping them in whichever way I could, spending time with them, playing cards, telling jokes, listening to their stories, helping them with their mobile phone glitches, but all this was helping me in a very mysterious way.

One day, while searching for footwear to ease my pain (my fifth pair in just a year), I came across a pair of heavily padded slippers. It felt like walking on a mattress! I tried them on and felt some hope of being able to walk in them. I started using the footwear and after few weeks saw improvement in my step count. Now I could go up to 4000 steps in a day. I continued to improve with the help of some more padded shoes, then swimming and some great physiotherapy which brought me back to 80% fitness within a span of 6 more months.

This journey of over 1.5 yrs changes my outlook to life. An appreciation for everything I have and specially the people who are part of my journey.

If there is one learning from my journey that I can share with everyone, is that our minds can trick us into believing lot of things which are rarely true, creating limitations for us first within, which ultimately become our reality. When we get pain, our first reaction is to resist it, we blame ourselves and others for our situation, and want it to change immediately, sometimes thinking that it will never go away - instead of accepting it and learning from it.

Also, the set of beliefs that we are alone, no one cares about others, we have to fight for ourselves and do it all alone, is very limiting.

I would say, big problems look smaller when you have friends around. I realised that having the support of family and friends and being open to even talking to strangers in a safe setting can be one of the greatest gifts that one can have.

The Greatest Gift (This may take you 5 mins to read what felt like a lifetime)